Why doesn't anyone pay attention to me in college?

You probably don't look 18 when you are all done up. You probably look like a 15 year old trying to look older. If you want people, especially older people to pay attention to you then try developing your personality. It sounds like you only care about people staring at you. By describing something as "retarded" you come off as very immature as well. Use your brain and be interesting.